10 Things a Leader Should Know About a Divorce

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Clever people advise that before setting up a business together with your partner you should think of how you are going to divide it. This principle applies not only to a business but to a family as well – if you are aiming at winning public recognition and if you cherish your reputation, of course.

In the modern world, reputational costs paid for a divorce are much lower than in “good old days” when people sacrificed their social status and prestige for the sake of pulling free from the odious ties of marriage. Everything is much more tolerant, immoral, commonplace. In the majority of cases, you simply have to abide by PR safety rules so that you may sail close to the wind.

1.    When beginning serious relationships, honestly answer the question what marriage and family mean to you.
2.    Depending on the answer, cultivate your unified public image within the range of a rigidly patriarchal and stringently ruled family sticker to a person of loose morals. Whatever point of view you would prefer within these limits, the main thing is not to squirrel from one extreme to another. It is important that your image should conform to your outlook.
3.    You’ve still decided to divorce. Does your word have greater credibility than your partner’s word – in view of the latter’s behavior, or the history of your marriage registration, or any other reasons? If it does, you have the advantage.
4.    Measure the margins of your maneuver: “What is permissible for Jove is not permissible for a bull” (or in more down-to-earth terms, “What the rooster may, that the chickens may not do”). How free are you in your actions? A politician enjoys greater freedom than a clergyman. A businessman enjoys greater freedom than a politician (if a politician is not a dictator), an actor or a sportsman enjoys greater freedom than a businessman.
5.    Legendize your divorce correctly. Even the most ardent dragons of other people’s virtue will forgive a “stringent ruler of the family” his divorce caused by the spouse’s misconduct or by heavenly love. A person of loose morals does not have to account to anybody, “I live this way, end of story.”
6.    Try to separate if not amicably (which is hardly ever possible) but at least try to keep your back covered as best you can. If you can afford it – pay your way out: pay both your husband/wife and your immediate family. If you fairer half is as public a figure as you are, work out a compromise. Even like in a broad joke: a patient sitting opposite a dentist holds the latter by his balls and asks, “Doctor, we won’t pain each other, will we?” Ideally, help your ex (even secretly) to build their future life.
7.    Let your version of events be the first. It should arouse trust and compassion.
8.    If your image is closer to that of “a stringent ruler of the family”, make a pause – a couple of months at least – between your last appearance with your ex-partner and going out with his/her successor. A shade of chastity will make you look nobler.
9.    Make a point of taking care of the children you have in common. The philistines who have never thought of their life in terms of money or fame will like it.
10.    Public opinion is harder on women’s morals than on men’s. Of course, a lot depends here on your walk of life: a pop star will be praised for the same thing a female politician will be crucified. But on the whole, the situation is unfavorable for a woman. Even if she is getting divorced from a sadist wallie, she will definitely be the one to blame. The more important it is follow the nine points mentioned above.

Knowing too much of a good thing, a public person will quite easily solve the situation of a divorce. Business partners (except relatives and true friends of the ex-husband/wife) are absolutely indifferent to the status changes. Mass media will make some noise and go quiet. Probably fastidious foreigners and lunatic fringe of traditional religions will knit their brow but time heals all wounds so you can put up with temporary difficulties for a while.

It is much more difficult to come to an agreement with your conscience. A crumbled marriage is a signal of your inability to manage your life, your incapacity to keep your word and resist a temptation, a symptom of irresponsibility and weakness. To cut a long story short, “when establishing serious relations, honestly answer the question what family and wedlock mean to you”.

Tags: Career; Free time; Image; Psychology; Reputation; Success